Private time: take a breather
Janette Roy

Your paper is due tomorrow, your friend is going through rough times and needs someone (you) to talk to, your parents are complaining that you don't call enough, your room smells like something died in it but you can't figure out what it is because you can't find it, and you haven't visited any of your friends from home in ages.

You find yourself wishing for an act of God that would take you away from all this. Does this sound like your life? Your roommate came down with the flu and is bedridden for a week and all you can think is "Lucky sonofagun."

Odd as it sounds to envy a bedridden friend, fantasies like these are common symptoms of a downtime deficiency. You know it's bad when you see having a broken leg as the perfect escape from your hectic world: you're not too hurt to cause any permanent damage, it doesn't involve too much pain, and there's nothing to do but relax and catch up with your friends. You have to take those stress signals seriously and give yourself a break.

This is the biggest aspect of university life that students coming in fresh from mon and dad's house have to cope with. You don't have your parents or Mrs. Johnson from math class telling you that your assignment is late. You find yourself with all of this time and whole textbooks to read, not to mention your new found social life, that assignment and your exams.

Sometimes you wonder if your profs realize that you have other classes to attend and your time doesn't consist of merely doing the work they've assigned.

When procrastination kicks in (as it surely will), stress runs high around here.

You frantically try to recollect if you've kicked your roommate in the face at some point in time by the way he's looking at you and then you remember his exam tomorrow.

You understand the source of his seemed hatred towards you, but still have to deal with it. So now life is stressful for both of you. Let's face it, you need something to deal with this new aspect of your life.

On a more serious note, one thing that could temporarily relieve the stress that you're going through is focusing on your breathing, but only if you keep it simple, says Dennis Lewis, author of The Tao of Natural Breathing.

"Many health experts and fitness centres have been researching the benefits of more complex yoga-based techniques but first, you should master the most basic method of all-belly breathing." Belly breathing sounds strange, but the effects can be seen right away. You immediately feel more relaxed and calm. You probably are used to holding in your stomach and breathing from your chest. To practice, lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor or a mattress. Place your hands over your navel and breathe deeply until you feel your lower abdomen rise as you inhale, fall as you exhale. Not only is the rhythm itself soothing, belly breathing is known to stimulate the part of your nervous system designed to fight stress.

Try this sitting up and you'll have a ten minute secret stress reducer. I tried it and don't worry if your stomach feels as if it's pooching out - Lewis reports that belly breathing actually tones your abs.

For more permanent effects, you have to focus on stress prevention. It's one thing to wait for the rock to hit you in the face and another to simply duck out of the way. In addition to having school and home, many people also need a third place - a regular hangout where you can stand outside yourself and get your life in order. Think of the coffee shop on Seinfeld.

Your home serves as a good relaxation stimulus but should not be associated with escape and being by yourself. Chances are you will have at least one or two roommates for the next two to three years and when you want to be alone, they're probably at home.

And what happens when you become married and have (heaven forbid!) kids. Do you think you'll actually have alone time at home then? It's good to get in the habit of finding that special place now. Where's your third place?

I've already mentioned somewhere you can find yourself unwinding - some kind of coffee shop or restaurant where you can munch and think. More and more people are occupying tables by themselves to reconcile with the day. It could also be a place outside that you find asthetically pleasing.

Find some nook and cranny of Waterloo that is yet to be discovered and enjoy the outdoors.

The best third place I've heard of is the gym. Not too many people know you at the gym and even less people are chatting it up when they're there; you could sit there and be a face in the crowd while you burn calories and sweat out your day.

For the more engaged people who enjoy losing themselves by dealing with other people, there are some options for you as well. You can go to a confidant's house for a good distracting chat. The only tricky part about this is that your friend has to be a good listener and know you well enough to know that you're just venting and this is not the everyday you. You could also get involved in a volunteer organization at Laurier or beyond. As long as it's something that makes you feel good and that is focused on someone other than yourself.

If you are fortunate enough to live near family, (preferably not your mom or dad unless the relationship is a friendlier one), you could go and visit them and relax in the presence of someone who loves you because of who you are.

These things may not be for everybody but having that third place definitely is. When the stress runs high, everybody needs a place to escape to and sort out the inconveniences of life. It's not good enough to temporarily lose yourself in the blur of alcohol: it's probably not the most healthy habit in the world. You need alternative methods. Sometimes you need to deal with the stresses of your life: sometimes they are out of your control.

Welcome to university.